SO HERE WE GO. SUPER FUN EXCITING TIME. I’m going to write a bunch of stupid shit in the next month that will make you laugh sometimes and post a fuck ton of podcasts that you’re going to listen to and enjoy. See, it’s basically this concept we call marketing. We are trying to sell you on the idea of coming to our event, so we are going to post a bunch of podcasts featuring these artists in order to encourage you to attend our event.

We have an upcoming podcast from Tupac’s instagram hologram world tour.

Or you just want to get fucking twisted out of your skull and don’t give a shit what I post on the intertron machine and are marking off the days in your own blood on the wall counting down til PDEMFYTECHYFEST. Shit is getting pretty absurd, presale tickets for some events are way too fucking much in my opinion, but that’s my opinion and I don’t give a shit about your opinion so I don’t really expect you to care about mine. But, we’ll always be selling our shit for a lot less than it’s worth because we have a STELLAR business model which is essentially as follows:

-WILL MOST OF THE ARTISTS GET PAID AND WILL THE ONES WHO DON’T BE COOL WITH SOME KEY BUMPS AND A BAR TAB? (check!)
-IF WE TYPE IN ALL CAPS AT ALL TIMES WILL THAT SELL MORE PRESALES (debatable, potentially annoying at times, but I’ll put a CHECK on this one too)
-MUST MAKE SURE THAT LESS THAN 49% OF THE POPULATION OF DETROIT IS ON THE GUEST LIST (oh but dude I’m from Detroit remember when DEMF was free? no, I don’t, and either do you, and if you do, and you’re bitching about it now, that means you’re just old and poor)
-ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT MAKE IT RAIN AT ANY POINTS

Ok so the whole purpose of this post is to post a podcast. So here’s a podcast. It’s from Brian Bejarano. I don’t know Brian. When I was told about him and asked “well what the fuck do I say about this guy?” Jeremy sent me a picture of a naked fat woman stomping on the windshield of some random persons car.

So Brian Bejarano is a fat naked woman that likes to vandalize things. Here you go, enjoy the podcast.

Oh and here is some other information: buy a presale, seriously, just buy one and shut up because you’re coming and our production budget is probably more money than you’ll see in a year (not counting the money you put up your nose, we couldn’t touch that number)

BUY GOD DAMN TICKETS

TRACKLIST:

Michael Buffer – “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble”*
2 Unlimited – “Get Ready for This”
Tag Team – “Whoomp! (There It Is)”
Black Box – “Strike It Up”
69 Boyz – “Tootsee Roll”
“Pump It Up, Go ‘Head, Go ‘Head”
K7 – “Come Baby Come”
Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock – “It Takes Two”
“Gridiron Groove”
C&C Music Factory – “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)”
Naughty by Nature – “Hip Hop Hooray”
M/A/R/R/S – “Pump Up the Volume”
Snap! – “The Power”
“Uh, Ungawaa!”
EMF – “Unbelievable”
Village People – “YMCA”
Technotronic – “Pump Up the Jam”
2 Unlimited – “Twilight Zone”
Ray Castoldi – “The Old Ballgame”
Gary Glitter – “Rock and Roll Part 2 (Hey Song)”

I’m sitting here killing time waiting for the got damn brown short wearing mf from UPS to get here with my stock to print today, so I am going to kill the time by posting a compilation of the absolute BEST WORST MUSIC VIDEOS EVER. I’m going B-roll worst videos ever, you probably haven’t seen these fucking classics.

First up is Mark Gormley. I’ve been a fan for a long time, I’ve even tried to get him to come to Detroit to play a show, he’s pretty timid (which will surprise you after seeing his HXCORE VID). This guy is serious fucking business. Polo shirt and all. I imagine him in a 70′s Camaro taking his grandma to her dialysis appointment FUCKING SHREDDING IT HARD. He’s quite the crooner, and looks to be pretty good with the ladies. Gormley was a minor meme back in the day, but kind of fell off. People just can’t handle his power. The Gormley Power Stance, you’ll see.

Now this next guy, holy shit. I actually tracked him down too, he told me that he was going to make some new videos, but kind of fell off the planet. Aside from the fact that he can’t really figure out what the lyrics are to the chorus (Always something there to remind me), he can’t sing, and Jesus H, this is for a dating website apparently. I’d hedge a bet that more people know the lines to this song, than those who know the lines to the star spangled banner. He probably couldn’t get either. Best part is a long time ago this video was posted on Google videos which, when YouTube was just getting started, was kind of the more complicated 1337 version of youtube (think Facebook -> G+), so he probably banked all his brain cells on posting this gem.

But seriously, dude, you butchered it.

Now, as far as production value goes, this next one is fucking fantastic. John Sex, D-List 80′s nu-wave when nu-wave was post-nu-wave-grunge-rollerblade-disco super star. I couldn’t decide at first if they were serious about this, and I’m sure there is some form of tongue-in-cheek humor going on here, but to a certain extent they definitely were trying to produce the best most cutting edge music video ever, and failed horribly, which makes it even more beautiful. You could not, no matter how hard you tried, recreate something this horribly beautiful. Money can’t buy the lack of backwards talent it takes to produce this. Seriously, it takes talent to make incredible things, it also takes talent to fail this miserably.

Last but not least is probably one of my favorite producers of all time (for serious). Now, being a good producer does not mean that you’ll have great music videos and Giorgio Moroder is one great example of this. The man really helped spearhead the move of modern music in to electronic production WITH COMPUTERS AND SCIENCE! Unfortunately, the music production technology & video production technology were not exactly keeping pace with one another, and trying to interpret this super future disco in to a visual representation on late 70′s-80′s video gear ends up just looking like sparkly disco diarreha with lots of totally random unintelligible shit that just looks like well this. Again, Giorgio is an incredible producer and still one of my favorites of all time, but there is a reason he is not lauded for his music videos:

For more time killing, the entire italo-disco movement had enough horrible music videos for 5 years worth of blog posts, so I won’t even bother, I will just say “ITALO-DISCO: ALL”. For some reason they all got together and decided that they would just make a bunch of work-out videos it seems. Some of the best tracks of all time, the absolute worst videos ever.

On the flip side, I’d say that grunge-rock from the 90′s had some of the best music videos ever, and some of the (in hindsight) worst music ever. Heart Shaped Box is probably one of my least favorite songs of all time by Nirvana (I don’t really like them in general, so sue me) but that music video is so wonderfully fucked up. I think I see a connection. Bad music = Good Music Video … Good Music = Bad Music Video. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

END IT ON SOME ITALO WORK OUT VIDEOS:

WORK. IT. OUT. (in PARIS!)

Alright, enough time killing…UPS guy is here

APRIL FOOLS. So dubstep still sucks, sorry if you actually listened to that podcast, thinking there was no way I’d post an actual dubstep mix, but I got in full character. SORRY FOR EVERYTHING. So I guess it’s time to start updating this thing for real again. Again, this one won’t be dubstep, but it’s unlike ANYTHING EVER POSTED BEFORE. Akin to Le Loup’s hip hop mixtape, this mix was submitted by some dude who I have been bugging for a mix for a little while now, Snax.

Be advised: it contains no technoz. I know this might disappoint some, but for serious, sometimes you CAN take a break and listen to some other shit. It is probably good for you. Because techno music makes you take drugs and die, everyone knows that, so save your life and listen to this mix.

I don’t really know much about Snax, he sent me this link: saying that you should vote for him in this contest. He gave me a mix, so I’ll plug his shit too.

DEMF is quickly approaching, as is the third installment of the best worst time you’ll never remember. I’m surprised people even remember to show up, they’re typically so off their face fucked up at that point I’m sometimes scared for you, but at the same time proud. It’s a conflicting feeling, but I’m always more proud that you can stand on your own feet (or one-and-a-half if you use the buddy system/lean-to support) after drinking your own body weight in beer, putting “THE BEST SHIT EVER SERIOUSLY, LIKE THIS SHIT IS SOOOOOO PURE” (read: I made this in my bath tub with the leftovers from my meth production) god knows what in to your body, punching more holes in your brain than you’d care to admit. YET you still come and get down. I have no idea how you do it. I applaud you, great party master, for you have figured out how to get frat boy drunk and spun off your skull like a meth head awake since December yet still hang with the best.

We’ve got some more awesome super sweet announcements about that coming up soon, and we’re still going to leave some up to the mystery of the universe. Last year the great surprise was a petting zoo complete with a unicorn, anything is possible, really.

Does anyone else write a bunch of nonsense to accompany their podcasts? Does anyone actually read this? I feel like I have to, but I could probably just post the damn mix for you and get on with my day. I’ll do that.

Stream it here and chew up massive amounts of my now capped bandwidth. Seriously, go ahead, make me poor as fuck by looping this for a day

 
Buncha promo links & track list after the jump
Read the rest of this entry »

Well. I didn’t see this one coming. Long time pal and gun aficionado Dark Cube has announced a pretty drastic career move. We’re not totally sure how we feel about all this, but IN CUBE WE TRUST. Well, in “Cube” we trust. Per his contract agreement (and apparently some outstanding debts on royal payments), DARK CUBE is now known as LiGHt Sph3aR (it must be spelled & capitalized exactly like this or you risk a serious fucking lawsuit).

So, since I haven’t updated the podcast in quite some time, I figure we might as well give this dude his chance to show his new stuff. I wasn’t able to get a direct interview with him because he’s currently on tour in Cambodia, but I was able to acquire this exclusive shot of him doing a new interview unveiling his new moniker, look & career direction.

Now, we’ve since found that his new found move to Dubstep has made him instantly famous and about 300% more talented than previously before. Adding 200% talent to a resume overnight is a pretty incredible feat, but when you start DJ’ing dubstep, really, the sky is the limit. Impeccable track selection in this mix, E P I C F U C K I N G DROPS. And more WUB than I think any one human can handle.

We’re offering a disclaimer to you right now: THE EPIC DROPS & WUB WUB DUB FLOP TRIPPLE DUB SLOP might make your computer explode & your brain might literally drip from your ears. But hey, it’s dubstep, so you already knew that.

****DARK CUBE WILL STILL BE PLAYING HIS LAST AND FINAL DARK CUBE SET AT SHIT SHOW 3 BUT FOR NOW AND ONLY UNTIL THAT ONE DAY AND HTEN EVERY DAY AFTER HE IS YOUR DUB GOD: LiGHt Sph3aR

So without further adieu, GARY SPRINGS HUNTING DUB proudly presentS:
THE ARTIST PHORMERLEE KNOWN AZ DARK CUBE PRESENTS: DJ LiGHt Sph3aR’s “IF YA CAN’T BEAT EM, JOIN EM, AND DUBSTEP THEIR BRAINS OUT THEY MOTHA FUCKIN’ EARS MIX (part one)

Well. That was a long journey, that is, the website getting compromised and not being able to figure out how to fix it properly because apparently my web admin skills that never matured past 2002 are not really capable of handling this. So, I called on the universe to send me an angel and fix this mess and the universe sent me NOEL DAVID JACKSON. His picture is to the right. This is actually not a real photograph of him but it’s what I picture him as. That sword is the tool he uses to slay evil viruses & whathaveyou.

I’m going to plug the shit out of Noel right now because he saved my ass on here, and because he’s one talented SOB. He just dropped a new piece of vinyl (yes, he made a record). Some of you might have trouble with this, you can’t get it on thepiratebay, and you can’t shove it in to your McBook. You can sample it HERE and there are links available to buy it. Buy it, buy 3 of them, Noel is a golden god savior warrior angel sent from heaven to slay internet viruses worldwide, and makes DAMN FINE DANCE MUSIC. He’ll also be playing at Shit Show 3 but shh I didn’t tell you that because that’s not announced yet because I haven’t made him an awesome logo yet.

It’s almost April, we had a little dick tease of summer last week, but April means DEMF rollout begins and SHIT SHOW 3 was just announced yesterday. I put together a quick little flyer and some people liked it I guess. Cool thanks guys. I am also making each DJ their own logo, because the current state of EDM (you suck if you actually use “EDM” in a sentence, btw) is that you need flashy logos and graphix and Madonna looking for drugs during your set to be famous. So I’m trying to make sure everyone knows that all our DJ’s are famous so that they feel more comfortable, because who gives a shit about the music any more, it’s more important how cool the logo looks and how many twitter followers you have. Oh, really dramatic headshots are important too, but I can’t really source those quite yet, but I promise, if you don’t come, your friends will, and they’ll tweet about how awesome it is and you’ll look at your tweets and probably tweet back #bummedimissedshitshow.

Just trying to stay relevant and everything. Ok. I’ve got a couple podcasts lined up, presales for shit show 3 are at tickets.gshcusa.org and rabble rabble rabble.

So, that was a bit of a total fucked up situation. Some Russian communist bot swooped in and ate up our entire server I guess. Just now got everything back online and in working order. Sorry for all the headaches, will be back on board with the podcast this week. Been busy as shit in the print shop, maybe I’ll show you some of that too. Anyone reading this any more?

Hi. Been a while since I’ve posted here in my weather blog, but I’m back and ready to bitch some more! Snow, cold, 2 hours of sunlight, seasonal affective disorder, etc. Winter fucking blows. Seriously, whoever invented this shit is just evil. Everything stops working, cars, brains, hands, feet, roads, common sense. Winter is the inconvenient hip check the universe likes to give all of us when the fall finally fades & summer is basically some mystical unicorn everyone else is loving and brushing while you sit at home alone freezing your balls off eating your eighth bowl of Ramen seasoned only with the salt of your tears because you thought it would be super rad to put all the packets in one and make super ramen (it’s really gross don’t try it).

While I’m on the subject of seasonal things that suck, it’s convenient that I happen to be posting on valentines day. I don’t even need to say anything, it’s valentines day. I don’t know if it’s just the company I keep but no one in my immediate circle is like “HOLY SHIT VALENTINES DAY YES IT’S LIKE CHRISTMAS ROUND TWO!” everyone is fraught with anxiety and pissed off Facebook posts. Or I’d assume they’re being posted, because I’m super elite and deleted my Facebook. Yes. I deleted my Facebook. I still have a cell phone & email & a mailing address so there are plenty of ways for you to enter in to my world unsolicited, fear not.

So, here we are again. Podcast. Mixcast. MEDMACast. This weeks super special edition is brought to us by MEDMA alum & all around good bloke Kevin McQuillan. I didn’t even know that Kevin made electronic dancing music mixed for download until he tagged me in a note on Facebook. Usually I ignore these things, because I don’t even know what notes are and it’s probably something totally useful but it wasn’t there when I started using Facebook so obviously I never adopted it because new things are scary. I was really delighted by the mix and I asked him to throw one together for me. He had one for me like a day later. I’m used to waiting months for people to get back to me on these things so I was a little thrown off and sorry for the delay Kevin but I’m on a DJ’s schedule when it comes to these things.

I guess I’ll plug MEDMA too while we’re at it. These kids are awesome. MEDMA is a student run organization at the University of Michigan interested in all things electronic music. They host their own events in and around Ann Arbor, take field trips to parties to get seriously bombed & dance 3 hours after everyone else has tapped out and begged for mercy, and have been one of our biggest supporters for a while now. Most MEDMA members don’t know that I actually had a friend quite some time ago (2006?) who was a member, and he took me out to meet with then-members of MEDMA to “pregame on a yacht” before going to a Ferry Corsten concert at Bleu. Needless to say I skipped the Ferry Corsten show, and kind of umm didn’t really take them very seriously at that point. Then one day they decided that they are basically more important to Gary Springs than Gary himself and have been riding our shitwave of destruction for over a year now. Thanks MEDMA.

I don’t have much else to say. We’re involved in an epic battle with the forces that are trying to destroy us, we’re the Starship Troopers and they’re the bugs, RICOS ROUGHNECKS HUHHHH. We’ll win, hopefully, if we don’t we’ll just stick to our day jobs, and I’ll keep throwing nonsense shit up on here.

Do yourself a favor and buy yourself a new shirt, the one you’re wearing is stupid (unless you’re wearing one of ours already). We’ve got a shiny new merch section that’s about ready for launch but you can still use the obsolete shitty old one for now: http://shop.gshcusa.org.

P.S. look out for some super amazing announcements regarding SHIT SHOW 3 shortly. Maybe. Kevin gave me a tracklist too but I can’t find it so I’ll put it up later.

New year, new plan: stop being lazy assholes and post some podcasts. Resolution, kept. We’re coming out of the gate running with this one by some dude from Belgium who took a break from making world famous chocolate to put together this mix for us. Red D, don’t know much about him, but Kevin Reynolds says that he’s good and Resident Advisor had him do their podcast recently so I guess he’s not a total schmuck.

We’ve got a brand new river front villa. After the police raided our now ironically named “Victory Lap” two year anniversary, we decided it was time to bust out of that asbestos, mouse filled piece of shit and upgrade ourselves to a prime slice of real estate right across the street from Chene Park. I won’t publish the exact address because, well, it’s top secret right now, and we don’t want your drunk ass showing up at 4am thinking that we’re neighbors with a gas bar again, because we’re not. Thank fucking god that chapter is closed. The wet house was fun, but when you work & basically live in it, well the fun ends and the thoughts of offing yourself take hold.

Red D I think is part of FCL which is a group I’ve been a fan of since I first heard the track “Let’s Go”. Download it on your favorite torrent tracker or buy it or something it’s sweet. I couldn’t quite finger the genre, so I made up my own and I call it rollerblade house. Think dayglo nylon jackets, those ugly as fuck neon sunglasses your baseball coach wore, and of course, roller blades. It’s pretty awesome. Alright, I don’t care to type any more so just listen to the mix, you’ve waited a month, here it is my little pet. Oh and thanks to everyone who came out & was involved in New Years. Cleaning up was really fun. You people really have a love affair with smashing glass any chance you get, and we really appreciate it, seriously, thanks for always smashing glass, it’s really easy & fun to clean up. Read: Fuck you people who smash glass at parties.

Oh and Red D is going to be playing for us on Thursday February 10 Y2k12 @ TV Bar. And FCL / Red D runs an actually pretty big fuckin deal label, the link is at the bottom. I couldn’t find a picture of him so I put up an old picture of me rollerblading.

promo links:

We Play House Recordings
SHAMEFUL PLUG BUY OUR SHIRTS: OUR SHAP

Hey there. So we let this shit sit for a month. We feel kind of bad, and hope that you don’t hate us forever because of it. We know you won’t because no matter what we do you still like us. No matter how hard we try. We love you too. We’re like a fucked up family of some sort I guess.

So I’m writing this basically because we’re promo whores and want to plug our NYE event. We’re really excited about it tomorrow night. Legowelt, Sal P, our local heroes Erika & BMG, and Dr Disko Dust John Ryan makes his live debut, twice. Seriously, he’s debuting twice, that’s pretty mind blowing if you think about it. He’s making a live debut in two separate years in 5 hours. MIND=BLOWN.

I’ve been inhaling a lot of spray paint tonight so I doubt this will make sense.

What are your new years resolutions? Ours are to update our blog and podcast because you deserve that from us. Sorry for everything.

So. That’s about it for now. We’ve got a new print shop, set fire to the old wet house after the cops rushed in and blew our fucking victory lap (seriously, fuck you guys.) So we’re hiding out for a while, but after the winter is over we are going to unleash the next evolution of the last evolution. The world is ending quick, let’s fucking rage before we can’t rage any more.

Event infos:

XIBALBA A GSHC & IT NEW YEARS EVE WITH LEGOWELT

Hey guys, Not even a week left until we totally annihilate your body and emotions. We are going to take what little soul you have left and butt fuck it until it dies.

That’s right folks, coming up this Saturday is the Gary Springs Hunting Club 2 year anniversary extravaganza. We have so much weird shit in store for everyone that this time one of us, if everything goes as planned, will end up doing 20 years in jail or end up in a body bag.

We are exited to try and do 2 more years of urban hunting excursions & general falconry in the fine city of Detroit, and we look forward to maintaining a standard of excellence that would make Sam Elliot’s character in the 1985 landmark film Mask, very proud.

For our thirty seventh podcast, we bring you one of Detroit’s greatest four eyed sensations, Mike Petrack. Mike heads up the promotional group Proper Modulation, and has been throwing parties for like, 35 years. He’s also a fantastic DJ that blends the smooth sounds of 60′s tropical uke ballads and pussy punch your grandmother techno. Girls love it and so will you.

Mike is also a part time GSHC male model and is seen here in full blown seduction mode wearing our sensual ”Explore My Body”  t shirt available HERE