New year, new plan: stop being lazy assholes and post some podcasts. Resolution, kept. We’re coming out of the gate running with this one by some dude from Belgium who took a break from making world famous chocolate to put together this mix for us. Red D, don’t know much about him, but Kevin Reynolds says that he’s good and Resident Advisor had him do their podcast recently so I guess he’s not a total schmuck.

We’ve got a brand new river front villa. After the police raided our now ironically named “Victory Lap” two year anniversary, we decided it was time to bust out of that asbestos, mouse filled piece of shit and upgrade ourselves to a prime slice of real estate right across the street from Chene Park. I won’t publish the exact address because, well, it’s top secret right now, and we don’t want your drunk ass showing up at 4am thinking that we’re neighbors with a gas bar again, because we’re not. Thank fucking god that chapter is closed. The wet house was fun, but when you work & basically live in it, well the fun ends and the thoughts of offing yourself take hold.

Red D I think is part of FCL which is a group I’ve been a fan of since I first heard the track “Let’s Go”. Download it on your favorite torrent tracker or buy it or something it’s sweet. I couldn’t quite finger the genre, so I made up my own and I call it rollerblade house. Think dayglo nylon jackets, those ugly as fuck neon sunglasses your baseball coach wore, and of course, roller blades. It’s pretty awesome. Alright, I don’t care to type any more so just listen to the mix, you’ve waited a month, here it is my little pet. Oh and thanks to everyone who came out & was involved in New Years. Cleaning up was really fun. You people really have a love affair with smashing glass any chance you get, and we really appreciate it, seriously, thanks for always smashing glass, it’s really easy & fun to clean up. Read: Fuck you people who smash glass at parties.

Oh and Red D is going to be playing for us on Thursday February 10 Y2k12 @ TV Bar. And FCL / Red D runs an actually pretty big fuckin deal label, the link is at the bottom. I couldn’t find a picture of him so I put up an old picture of me rollerblading.

promo links:

We Play House Recordings
SHAMEFUL PLUG BUY OUR SHIRTS: OUR SHAP

Hey there. So we let this shit sit for a month. We feel kind of bad, and hope that you don’t hate us forever because of it. We know you won’t because no matter what we do you still like us. No matter how hard we try. We love you too. We’re like a fucked up family of some sort I guess.

So I’m writing this basically because we’re promo whores and want to plug our NYE event. We’re really excited about it tomorrow night. Legowelt, Sal P, our local heroes Erika & BMG, and Dr Disko Dust John Ryan makes his live debut, twice. Seriously, he’s debuting twice, that’s pretty mind blowing if you think about it. He’s making a live debut in two separate years in 5 hours. MIND=BLOWN.

I’ve been inhaling a lot of spray paint tonight so I doubt this will make sense.

What are your new years resolutions? Ours are to update our blog and podcast because you deserve that from us. Sorry for everything.

So. That’s about it for now. We’ve got a new print shop, set fire to the old wet house after the cops rushed in and blew our fucking victory lap (seriously, fuck you guys.) So we’re hiding out for a while, but after the winter is over we are going to unleash the next evolution of the last evolution. The world is ending quick, let’s fucking rage before we can’t rage any more.

Event infos:

XIBALBA A GSHC & IT NEW YEARS EVE WITH LEGOWELT

Hey guys, Not even a week left until we totally annihilate your body and emotions. We are going to take what little soul you have left and butt fuck it until it dies.

That’s right folks, coming up this Saturday is the Gary Springs Hunting Club 2 year anniversary extravaganza. We have so much weird shit in store for everyone that this time one of us, if everything goes as planned, will end up doing 20 years in jail or end up in a body bag.

We are exited to try and do 2 more years of urban hunting excursions & general falconry in the fine city of Detroit, and we look forward to maintaining a standard of excellence that would make Sam Elliot’s character in the 1985 landmark film Mask, very proud.

For our thirty seventh podcast, we bring you one of Detroit’s greatest four eyed sensations, Mike Petrack. Mike heads up the promotional group Proper Modulation, and has been throwing parties for like, 35 years. He’s also a fantastic DJ that blends the smooth sounds of 60′s tropical uke ballads and pussy punch your grandmother techno. Girls love it and so will you.

Mike is also a part time GSHC male model and is seen here in full blown seduction mode wearing our sensual ”Explore My Body”  t shirt available HERE

Bonjour Reptiles,

I’m doing pretty good. Thanks for asking. We have been busy here at the WET HOUSE putting Satanic leaders and kittens on t shirts, throwing together last minute afterparties that we totally regret the next day, egging our own studio for a devils night prank we played on ourselves, and planning some super fucked up upcoming events for you beasts. We have the GSHC XCLUSIVE RECORD LABEL FUNDRAISING SENSATION & ABBOTTS BIRTHDAY ORGY coming up this Saturday, after that we have the GSHC 2 YEAR, and then following that, if your not all 6 feet under by then, we plan to finish the rest of you off by teaming up with disco/electro gods and goddesses Interdimensional Transmissions to throw you an absurd NYE party. Details on that soon.

Speaking of our 2 year anniversary party (I can’t believe we are only 2 years old. we feel 60), we are bringing in our favorite whippersnappers from Brooklyn, Vietcong Disco. We brought out VD (pun intended) last winter for the Wet Dream party and many believe that may have been our most bonkers party to date. And that’s saying a lot.

Vietcong Disco is about 3-8 dudes from Brooklyn that rented a van and fucking drove out to Detroit in the middle of the worst snowstorm of the year to play a party for 2 weirdos that they never met. We told them “We promise you a really good time, and you can just sleep at our place. It will be fun, trust us.” Sounds pretty fucking creepy if you ask me. I don’t think I would randomly drive to Detroit to go play disco at an undisclosed location and then sleep over and some strange dudes house. I think these guys might be closet cases. Actually who am I kidding, i’ve done that many times.

Anyhoo, the leader of the pack is Eddie Mars. VD just got their shit together this past year and released some stellar vinyl. Eddie’s cut “future” sounds like an Italo masturbating session. But the really sleazy kind where your in a corner watching other people fuck while doing it. In little Italy at the height of the 80′s cocaine fueled disco parties. Its a good one.

Check out his Soundcloud for a bunch of free edits, remixes, sets, and originals.

Be his fan boy/girl HERE

Also wanted to point out how we actually found out about these guys. There is a great mix blog of a bunch of avant garde disco goodness that I know a lot of you will be into. We found VD on there. Check it out – RADIO BERMUDA

Well, surprise surprise it’s cold as shit again. And it’s not even really that cold yet, but it’s cold enough for us to have spent the entire evening sealing up every single god damn nook and cranny at the Wet House. I complain about the weather a lot in my intros, but it’s because I have poor, awkward communication skills and the only thing I can think about talking on is the weather. So tonight we have something to remind you that the cold hearted bitch that is winter is breathing down your neck and the only thing we have to look forward to for the next 6 months or so is being cold as fuck and knee deep in snow.

Tonight Matt and I (Aaron) put together our first collaborative project. We both are really serious bleeding heart romantic types, and have an entire arsenal of “let me put this on so I can get in your pants” music constantly at the ready. That’s what this music is, a nice selection of tracks for you to put on for whichever body you are sharing your bed with tonight. An empty bed and your tears are the only things bringing you to bed tonight, then this might help comfort you a little bit.

I don’t really feel like writing much else because words can not begin to describe where this mix is about to take you. Seriously. The first Fireplaces & Fuzzy blankets was just the tip. We opened this mix with an edit we decided we’re going to actually do at some point, maybe we might make it. It’s called Rocket Fuel. You’re going to love it.

Dig in. Tracklist might come out, but you probably know most of these, they’re the best songs to fuck to ever.

I can’t believe this thing is still going. Seriously, I guess that’s a general thought I’ve had throughout this whole experience. We’re coming up quick on our two-year anniversary of when this whole shit fest started. God knows where we’ll be in another two years, I took out an insurance policy on Abbott and I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting paid off on that one any day now. Seriously though, this whole Gary Springs experience has kind of become like a BDSM sideshow except we don’t give anyone a safe word. We are about to unleash some absolutely ridiculous stuff in the upcoming fiscal quarter. We are finally confident and trust that you’re in a long term relationship with us, now we’re ready to enter the next phase. This sounds a bit cult-like, but I guess we’re sort of becoming a cult, except our “drink” is shitty room temperature beer & our compound The Wet House. Seriously though, Abbott’s name is now tattooed on someones arm. Step your game up, we want to see you brand yourselves for life.

Oh yeah, the podcast. So I’ve been after this one for a while. It’s by these swedes called “Drop Out Orchestra”. I caught a podcast by them on the Louche podcast a long time ago (’09?) and was instantly hooked. These guys really need to get brought over to the states (I’ve tried, US promoters are great at wasting good opportunities) & sent around like a hooker on Cass. So basically it’s two guys (no cups) and they play a live set with the other guy playing bass guitar. That’s about all I know about them and I got bored writing that so I assume you got bored reading that.

They did stuff with our favorite up-and-coming dickbag Disco Munga. Sup Lou.

I’m keeping this one short but I keep finding out that some of you actually read this shit. Stop telling me that, it makes me feel like I have to perform, when I didn’t know that you read it I just spewed a bunch of random bullshit that you apparently liked. Huh?

Drop Out Orchestra is seriously the tits. They did an edit of Rick Astley, that’s cool. Someone said it sounded like Madonna.

Go buy our shirts or we’re going to blow up the podcast. We need some beer money you guys, seriously.

Alright it’s 5am I need to go sleep like 2 hours before I get up and pretend to be a real human.

Later brah

STREAM THE FUCK OUT OF IT…directly below

Drop Out Orchestra Soundcloud … seriously so many tracks on there go HOLLA

They have a 12″ coming out soon (record)

Oh hey how you doing? It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here, quality > quantity. Or I’m just too busy pretending like I’m like, so totally way too busy doing so much shit I don’t have any time to do ANYTHING. It’s all a farce, but a lot of people have been buying it. Let me tell you what me being so busy consists of. Here’s my Wednesday:

Woke up at 1pm
Went back to sleep at 1:05pm
Woke up again at 3pm
Fed my dog (don’t cry foul on this one, pretty sure my girlfriend gave him breakfast)
Took my dog out
Laid back down on the couch
Checked my email
Around 4pm I made my way over to the Wet House
4:30pm-8:30pm I watched 10 episodes of some show on Netflix where they buy storage containers and get fucking rich (all while scheming on how I could possibly pull it off, then realized that I’d rather just lay on the couch and watch them do it on netflix)
9pm: pick up Abbott, eat 5 sushi rolls (he had like 4 sashimi whatever the fuck those little pussy things are)
10pm: back on the couch, now I’m watching movies because DJ secrets was eating up our bandwidth downloading Ableton
11:30pm: get up, change movies
12am: go to McDonalds, get a milkshake
12:30am: keep watching movie
2am: go to sleep

Awake less than 12 hours. One hell of a day.

If you seriously read all that, you need to get a hobby. But I guess I was just laying out how I had possibly one of the laziest blowoff days in the history of the world so I have little room to speak.

We’ve done some shit here, some shit there, threw a kick ass party with Tiger & Woods but apparently everyone was having so much fun they forgot to take pictures, whatever we know what happened and you didn’t pay us $10 to find out so fuck you.

I obviously have an ulterior motive in posting all this crap. We have a print out currently on 1xRun.com. It’s our fuck rich people print, on a piece of paper instead of a shirt. I know, big fucking deal, but this is seriously the nicest paper ever. They paid a lot for this paper and it weighs like 1lb. I don’t know much about paper, but I’m sure if we consulted a paper expert he’d freak the fuck out and be like “dude, this paper, seriously. tits.” Oh and then there’s the print. FUCK RICH PEOPLE. It’s a nod to all the rich assholes out there ruining this wonderful country of ours. Thanks guys.

Alright I’m done, time for more Netflix.

Buy our print and encourage me to continue doing nothing but print once in a while and then sit on the couch and eat McDonalds : Occupy Wall Street – Fuck Rich People on 1xRun.com

Oh man, where to even start with this guy. Not really sure how or when I met this cocksucker, but let me tell you, it has been a whirlwind of emotional turmoil and many, many sleepless nights.

Dan used to live with myself and our buddy Spleece in a dimly light upper flat in Detroit’s Woodbridge neighborhood. Most people would consider our apartment nothing less that a total crack den. Sometimes it looked to me like a film set out of the movie Seven.  Minus the fat guy but with the dead bloody hooker in the back room. We had some good times at that place.

Wagner fell off the face of the earth for a small period of time, got married to his elementary school sweetheart, found a 9-5 job, got a nice car, got not 1, but 2 dogs (one of them a golden retriever, of course), and moved into a nice house in the suburbs. After he got all nice and cozy with his new found vanilla life, he realized how boring shit was, got his head back together, and started making fucked up rape techno again.

Large amounts of drug use does fucked up things to some people.

Not to sound like i’m chugging his cock or anything, but I’ve always said that Wagner was and still is one of my favorite techno dj’s not just in Detroit but in THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. I think you will find his mix pleasing to the ear pussy.

Well folks here we are at the GSHC Podcast #32. Hard to believe that it hasn’t even been a year and we are already at that number. You should totally blow us next time you see us.

#32 comes from a fellow that goes under the alias CTRL_ALT_DLT, a name that gets misspelled almost every single time someone writes it. I’m sure I probably have it wrong, sorry Chris.

Chris is from Seattle via Detroit. He’s been out in Seattle for a while though. Somewhere between 1 and 10 years, I forget. Chris is 1 half (or is it 3rd?, I cant keep up) of the Sweatbox crew out there, and throw some pretty amazing parties for all the dirty ass hippies out in the Northwest. It’s not like his parties are filled with hairy, nasty, dreadlocked, smelly people wearing stupid long skirts and usually seen playing with devil sticks or hacky sacks or some other stupid hippie shit. That’s just my kinda general consensus of most of the North West.

Chris and his crew were the first people to bring out Spleece and myself for a Guys On Drugs set in some fucked up sports bar in the middle of an Industrial area in the city. Was a good time. Chris usually double dips in between techno and house in his sets, and I think you will all dig this set. Chris also likes to eat acid and frolicing through the forest picking fresh psychocybin mushrooms for him and his friends.  Check him out playing all over the city for this years Decibel Festival and give him a high five and buy the poor fuck a beer.

Well well well…here we are. Reunited and it feels soooo good. I’ve been away for a moment, working my fucking ass off and drinking myself into an oblivion. Sorry about that, but not really. I don’t have feelings. Just being honest. At least you know I’ll never lie to you. So, we’ve got that going for us when it comes to our relationship.

Once again, I’ve got a draft I’d like to share, but my recent life events have trumped that, and I’ve got some things to get off my chest. That’s why I do this. Aaron once thanked me for writing for G.S.H.C., and I was like “Dude, I do this for me, not you.” Totally selfish, I know, but hey, honesty is a good thing. I’m naturally super shy, and this is how I vent. Also, I drink. It helps me be social. Which is why I don’t work on the weekends normally. Yesterday was Saturday, and I woke up at 8:30 am and drank a grape Four Loko, eight 16oz. Colt 45′s, a 40oz. of Mickey’s, and three Busch beers. Didn’t even black out. Proud of me, aren’t you? Don’t be. I cheated. Addreall got me through the day.

So, on to why this is the Fuck Tha Police Edition… Last night, I was so drunk I would have fought a velociraptor or a T-Rex and prolly won. I don’t get in fights, but I was straight bonkers hammered. I live in the hood here in Chicago. Humbolt Park to be exact. It’s where all the Latin Kings reside, or whatever. Fucking gangs, lol! Last night, at the end of my multi-malt liquor extravaganza, I was walking home with my room mate, and got stopped by an undercover. Now, if you know me, you know I have no hair (I started going bald at 29), but I’m white, and one of my room mates is a Jewish chick from West Bloomfield. Not your typical folks here in Humbolt Park. These fucking cops harassed the shit out of us, and wanted to know “Where we were coming from”, and “Where we were going”. All of this happened literally TWO HOUSES from where we live. So, as the motherfucking PO-lice are demanding what two white folks are doing walking down the sidewalk at one in the morning, axing stooooopid questions, and NOT minding their own business, I’m flipping them off. As I got my keys out of my pocket to unlock my door to my place where I pay rent to live, the cops demanded that I stop, and wanted to search me. So, I kept going. I got through my iron gate, which blocks off the front door to my building, and turned and said “Fuck you assholes. Just because I’m white doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to live here. I’m tired and I’m going to bed.”  Total racist cops.  Ohhh loook!  White people in the hood!  They must be looking for drugs!  Hey, I’m always looking for drugs, so I’ll give them that, but it wasn’t my priority at the moment.  Had I been offered, I would have accepted.  But I wasn’t looking.  It was a bitter sweet ending to slam the door in the face of police officers and laugh drunkenly as a crawled up the stairs to the third floor of my building.

Know what else happened this week involving the cops that I need to get off my chest?  Of course you don’t. Keep reading.  One of the warrants I have out for my arrest is in Royal Oak.  These fucking Oakland County motherfuckers are relentless, much like Misstress Barbara’s label.  Hilariously enough, they’re still sending police officers and letters to my parents’ house in Michigan.  I’m wanted for some bullshit that happened in ’07.  Four fucking years ago.  When they sentenced me to $2k in fines, 80 hours of community service, and 60 days of breathalyzers, I laughed inside, and never showed up for a single probation meeting, breathalyzer, or any of that community service bullshit.  Look, I do enough for the world on my own.  Nor did I give them a fucking dollar of their “fine”.  Nor would I ever pass a breathalyzer in the morning.  Or EVER, for that matter.  Fucking idiots.  They don’t know who they’re dealing with.  I got an email from my poor mother the other day saying something like “Royal Oak stopped by again, and they gave me a letter.  I’m mailing it to you”.  My poor fucking mom.  Terrible that they harass her.  Good thing she’s a compassionate special-ed teacher.  Sometimes I wonder how I turned out so well, and then I say to myself “Oh yeah, my mom teaches retards, that’s why”.

So I answered my mom via email about this Royal Oak shit, and my dad answered me.  My mom and dad have the same email account, as they’re married and shit.  And this is what my dad had to say about the whole situation.  I’m just going to quote him here:  “That was your mother that sent that.  The cops were here last year looking for you, and they were here again yesterday.  I told them I didn’t have any idea where you were.  They probably sent the letter after you re-instated your driver’s license, thinking you lived here.  Next time they come I’m calling the cops on the cops for fucking trespassing!  Don’t these fucks have anything better to do like catch a real criminal?  This is over, and total bullshit. Your loving father.”

So yeah, that’s that.  Stay tuned.  I’m sure Aaron or Matt will give you a podcast soon, and I’ve got some more to say about me telling a prosecutor that “If you’re planning on fucking me, I’d appreciate it if you put on some lipstick first.” Man, am I pissed about the police and their bullshit.  And yes, I did say that to the prosecutor.  In front of the judge.  In a courtroom full of people.  I’ll be back in two days with that story.  Trust me.  Well, don’t.  Don’t trust any promises we make here at G.S.H.C.  We might give you good shit, but we do it when we can.  And by “when we can” I mean when we feel like it.  Thank you, and fuck you.

XXOOOXOoxoXOXOXOOOXOX (those caps X’s and O’s mean I’m serious)

MikeD